WOUNDED HEALERS Toxic Leaders vs Authentic Guides

Coming together in a spiritual setting with a group is to support, share, heal and grow. I find it concerning when guides, healers and mediums come together for support only to have one...maybe two individuals take up more space than is necessary. I had a conversation with another "guide" the other day and she spoke about how one person in their group was gaslighting, being condescending, and making it about a competition.

First, we all come with our own innate wisdom, knowledge and abilities, no one is less or more than the other. Walking this path is NOT a competition, this toxicity weakens each individuals ability to flourish, feel safe and supported. You could say that its a trigger and we need to look within...true...but we have to set boundaries to be seen, respected and understood. We cannot allow powerful leaders to go without being held accountable for their own shit...period. Its either that or we do not support them...we walk away, stop giving them energy and allow them to see their own reflection.

One way we can set a boundary is by banishment magic. This is not to change who the person is or control them, this is to set a powerful spiritual boundary for toxic and negative actions they have projected toward you. It does not prevent them from free will...it stops them spewing their toxicity onto you. I've been using banishment for toxic behaviours in others with "Candle Magic". As we grow our "grimoire" our magical knowledge, we find methods that work best for us. I have refined my practical magic that aligns with my path, each of us must find our own magical methods which will make it all the more powerful. I will be offering a workshop in September to open the doors to your own magic for banishment magic.

There is a huge movement of spiritual leaders in the media online. Some are making statements of what they believe a healer is, a shaman is or what they should be...and they are entitled to their opinion. But to be clear, they are speaking their truth...and only their truth as they believe it to be....it doesn't make it true for everyone else. I have found some of the guides I follow to have bits and pieces of truth that resonate with me. Because I know these "influencers" have had a previous negative experience that has led them to believe what they do. Even though what they experience is true...it is a trigger and we do have to recognize that. On the other hand we were not present when they had the negative experience which leaves us without context...so we only see the result.

We have to go back to critical thinking which teaches us to observe, reflect and assess without emotional reactions. This means we have to ask unbiased questions, not let our ego get in the way. Ego isn't a bad thing but if we overstate it and allow it to override the search for truth...our view gets blurred in the search of truth. This has nothing to do with the idea of "facts"...facts by authority or "qualified" experts are also created by ego. It comes from "I have all this education, and time I have spent in this field ...so therefore I speak the only truth. If anything we should be questioning those in authority much more and holding them to account. These are situations where growth is stagnated and doesn't allow for change or to evolve because truth can change...so can facts...it all depends on the agenda.

So, in the spiritual community we have to discern and take into consideration many factors. We have to understand that we do not carry or hold other peoples experiences or truth. If a spiritual leader starts to defend and explain why their truth is the only truth...walk away. They aren't there to guide or teach you, they are there with the agenda to control the message. They want their wounded experience to deter you from your own innate wisdom and path. I will use the phrase "Your truth is not my truth". I have walked away from people whom I called friends, that in some cases, I have known for a decade or more. I don't align with them and I hold no ill will...they simply are no longer aligned with my path.

Stay true to who you are...let your authentic self thrive...walk the road of integrity...not for others...but for you...be who you are.

Sharon Whitethunder

Shamanic Intuitive Coach

Owner & Creator of

Sacred Source Medicine